Chapter 18 & 19

Chapter 18

Talya

I never knew how much I’d enjoy having a dedicated nest. It answered something inside me that I didn’t know I’d been missing. A hole I didn’t know I had. There was security and comfort and a unique sense of right that very few other things gave me. Outside of my alpha, I’ve never felt something that was more mine and gave me a sense of belonging.

But as I stretched and woke up from an impromptu nap with Kasen on one side of me and Ronan on the other, I wondered if maybe it wasn’t the nest itself but what it represented. A pack.

Colby and I always spoke about the ‘future home’ we’d buy but that vision came with packmates. It was never meant to be just the two of us. Though we actively tried to find a pack, the years made it difficult to stay positive that we’d find one.

There were plenty of available packs, sure. And I was positive that they’d remain available. Forever. They were just nasty alphas that didn’t deserve an omega.

This was the third day I’d awaken from a nap in my nest with Kasen and Ronan. It was like they knew. An hour after lunch was when I wanted to crash for a while. I’d never needed a nest for anything other than my heat but now that I had one, I wanted to just be in it. When I walked in today, I caught the lingering scent of Ronan. It was strong enough that it almost drowned out Kasen’s calm incense vibe.

Until I laid down. Then they both surrounded me in equal measures, even if Ronan’s was stronger. But they did different things to me. Kasen was sweet friendship. Ronan was something hot and potent.

“Want a drink?” Ronan asked, his voice deep and growly. Sexy.

I was going to tell him no but… yeah, I was actually thirsty. I nodded. “Thanks.”

“Kasen?” Ronan asked as he gently disentangled himself from us.

“Of course, hot stuff,” Kasen said, his voice sweet and sensual.

Ronan growled a little before leaving the room.

“He loves me. I swear,” Kasen said, grinning when I rolled to face him.

I smiled back. Kasen was as easy to be around as Fenton had been. Their similarities, even though there weren’t many, was enough to make a pain in my chest known. He’d think Colby and I were dead. He’d spend the rest of his life thinking that.

It wouldn’t be surprising if he also carried around guilt because he hadn’t been there. Although had he been, the only thing that would have happened is he’d have either been killed as a possible witness or been abducted, too.

Before that night, I wouldn’t have considered that alphas or betas were in any danger of being abducted like omegas. Those rumors or evidence to such a thing was never heard of. I no longer thought anyone was safe.

What a dark world we lived in.

Ronan returned with two bottles of water. Kasen and I sat, accepting them with thanks. I drank most of it under Ronan’s watchful gaze. When I finally stretched and got to my feet, climbing out of all the soft, chushiness that was my nest, the three of us went our separate ways.

As always, I went in search of Colby. Just to see him. I could feel his strong, hot presence in my entire body, but I needed to lay eyes on him. To prove to myself he was safe. He was here.

It took me a couple rooms until I caught sight of him outside on the back deck with Blakely and Lohtus. They were playing cards. To see my alpha smiling like he was, completely at ease and relaxed, was the best feeling. I’d never considered that I’d taken aspects of my life for granted but I think maybe everyone does.

You just don’t know what you have until you’ve nearly lost it all.

The tenor of his laughter drifted in through the open screen door. Instead of joining them, I curled up in the window seat to watch. It wasn’t long before Colby spotted me. He flashed me a smile. The alphas with him turned in their seats to do the same. So I smiled back.

I watched for a while, content just to see him sitting there happy. Even when his gaze met mine every few minutes. It wouldn’t be long before he came inside to check on me. Simply because I was sitting here watching him.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, Colby stood and headed for the screen door. It slid open and he stepped inside. I watched him walk towards me. Tall, broad shoulders. A smile on his handsome face.

He took me up in his arms as soon as he was close enough to. Like me, Colby took a deep inhale of my perfume, just as I did him. Needing that reassurance that he was really here. Seeing him was one thing. Touching and smelling him was even more confirmation.

“Are you alright?” he murmured.

I nodded, hugging him close before sitting back into the seat. Glancing at the alphas outside, I saw that they were looking this way. “Are you?” I asked, meeting his blue eyes again.

Colby smiled, nodding a little. “I’m fine. Just playing cards.” He gestured outside. “What to join us?”

Looking at the alphas again, I knew that they weren’t watching me at all. They were polite and I think they liked me just fine, but their interest was with Colby. I wasn’t sure if he knew that. I wasn’t going to interfere. We’ve both been through shit. Abduction and torture aside, he’d been with me through every pack interview.

It was miserable. It took a toll on him, too.

Seeing him connect with other alphas was surprisingly a relief. I wanted him to have that bond. Whether it be friendship or something more.

“No,” I said, smiling up at him. “I just like to creepily watch my big alpha from a nearby window.”

Colby chuckled. He bent low to kiss my lips. “Alright. Enjoy the view, princess.”

Grinning, I watched his ass as he left me. It wasn’t fair that alphas were easily hard and fit. Classes in high school said it was part of their designation. An alpha’s natural instinct above all else is to protect. It’s an umbrella of protection until he claims his family.

They can only do so effectively if they’re big, hard, and strong. To be a predator, you needed to be the most cunning. The biggest threat. So alphas are born with their natural bulk.

But it didn’t have to be so effortlessly attractive, did it? I mean, how’s that fair?

I continued to watch them, and Colby continued to glance in my direction many times. He even made two more excuses to come inside to check on me, disguised by needing a drink and needing to use the restroom. Neither of which did I believe. Considering he left without a drink, I was pretty sure he was found out.

“There you are.”

I turned at Kasen’s voice and smiled.

“Are you busy right now?” he asked, glancing outside. “I don’t want to interrupt your afternoon of stalking.”

Snorting, I shook my head. “No. Just admiring Colby.”

Kasen moved to me, dropping into the window seat. “Mind if I join you on that?” he asked. “Actually, I’ve never seen a better sight than the three of them.”

“Well, it could be improved if they were naked,” I said.

“Oh! Let’s suggest that.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “What’s up? Why were you looking for me?”

Kasen’s brows knit together as he stared – drooled – out the window. He’d been thoroughly distracted. “Oh.” He turned back to me with a big grin. “Right. So, you’re not busy right now?”

“You see the extent of my afternoon thus far.” I again gestured to the window.

He laughed. “Well, Em is trying to woo me.” His smile was so wide, I swear he was glowing. “And he knows I’m a bit of a kid at heart. He built me a fort and we were going to play games or watch a movie or something. Want to join us?”

“I don't want to impose on your wooing,” I said.

He laughed again. “Silly. He’ll woo you, too. Just wait till you really catch a hint of his alpha side.” His brows waggled.

I laughed again, shaking my head. “Yeah, alright. That sounds fun.”

Kasen grabbed my hand and pulled me along. We slowed a little as we climbed the stairs. “You know, if you’re not interested in being courted by anyone in this house, you should say so. Soon.”

“Are you hinting, Kasen? Do you want to court me?”

He stopped abruptly and I ran into his back. I laughed as he frantically grabbed for me so I wouldn’t topple down the stairs. But his deer in the headlights look only made me laugh harder.

When he gained his composure, not at all impressed with my laughter though I didn’t miss the way the corner of his lips quirked up, he frowned at me. “I really like you, Talya, but I just don’t like girls.” He shrugged. “But I can court you if you like. As long as I don’t have to…” His words trailed off as he glanced down my body. I didn’t miss the flush that glided over his face.

Laughter tried to bubble up again. “I didn’t realize you didn’t like girls,” I said.

Kasen turned around and grabbed my hand again to lead me up the stairs. He shrugged. “It wasn’t something definite until you moved in.”

“I’m a little offended.”

This time he laughed. Shaking his head, he continued to pull me down the hall but now I was beside him. “No. There have been other girls here. And we’ve gotten along fine. I’ve never been interested in them but then again, none of my pack was so I just assumed it was… you know, pack dynamics. Or something. I’ve never had a pack, so I don’t know.” We stopped at the closed door to his room. “But my pack likes you. I like you. If I was going to be attracted to a woman, it would be you. And since I’m not, and I can’t say that I’ve ever been, I’ve come to the conclusion that I just like guys.”

Leaning in close, I watched his lips curve for real this time. “It’s their dicks, isn’t it?” I whispered.

Kasen burst out laughing as he shoved the door open. “I guess. I don’t really know.”

I stopped abruptly when we stepped inside. When he said fort, I hadn’t realized he meant basically the entire room. A large blanket was somehow fastened to the ceiling and fell down in a circle all around. There were star lights all over the outside and framing the flap that was currently held open with a clothespin.

Though I couldn’t see much, from what I could catch a glimpse of was the entire inside basically made into a small nest. Pillows circled the entire area. The floor was lined with blankets, cushions, and… stuffies?

Kasen pulled me inside, shutting his door behind us. Then he gently pushed me towards the opening. Emerald was already inside. There was a television set up with a gaming system and a few controllers. He looked up at me with a smile.

That’s when I smelled his scent. There was nothing beta about it. The strong lemony citrus scent was all alpha. I blinked several times as I stared at him.

“In,” Kasen urged, and I moved again. I took a seat, leaving space for Kasen to sit between us. Unclipping the pin, the flap shut behind him as he crawled over me.

There were body pillows and seating wedges lined behind us so we had something to lean against and we weren’t falling through the cloth wall.

“Familiar with Kart racing?” Emerald asked, leaning around Kasen to look at me.

I nodded, accepting the controller from him. As he set up the game, I looked around the room. It had all the hallmarks of a nest. Small, cozy. Soft. Dim. Running my hand along the faux fur blanket, I smiled.

“There’s a misconception that all betas want to be an omega,” Kasen said, gaining my attention. “I didn’t want to be one. I’m small enough that I get mistaken for one regularly but I never wanted to be one. So much about your biology is terrifying. And then the world we live in.”

I snorted a quiet laugh. “Tell me about it.”

“But Em still treats me like an omega sometimes,” he said, grinning at Emerald out of the corner of his eye. “Thinks I need all the sweet gestures.”

“It’s not that I think you need them, baby,” he said, moving his hand into Kasen’s hair. His purr was soft, making Kasen’s eyelids droop. “But you deserve a bit of spoiling. I love making your face light up.”

Kasen grinned, even as he blinked the moment away and looked at Emerald. “Thanks.” He leaned in and I watched as they shared a quick peck.

Emerald looked at me over Kasen. “He’s probably right. His size is close enough to an omega that everything in me goes all alpha. And now you’re here, hints of your perfume are everywhere, and everything in me is all big, growly, weird alpha.” He smiled apologetically.

“Weird?” I asked.

He laughed. “I’m a beta. So yeah, weird.”

Ah. Right. “I think it’s kind of fascinating. And also, sorry my perfume is everywhere. It’s hard. Like a dog shedding, you never really get rid of the evidence.”

Kasen looked at me with almost horrified wide eyes. “You did not just compare your perfume to a dog!”

I laughed. “No. I compared it to shedding. There’s a difference.”

He shook his head in disbelief.

Emerald chuckled. “I’m not complaining. You smell like the best dessert. Pretty sure I’m always drooling at this point.”

My cheeks heated.

I leaned back against the rests with them and we dove into playing video games. While I’d been somewhat self-conscious at first, it wasn’t long before I forgot our conversation and lost myself in the teasing banter and laughter that we shared.

At some point, snacks appeared and I had to assume one of the alphas brought them. It was between rounds that I was sitting up, watching them as I sipped my bottled water, that I thought if having a pack was like this, I wouldn’t give up looking. 

Chapter 19

Talya

When we were shipped away for our own safety, I kind of thought we’d be trapped inside some windowless building, never again to see the light of day. It’s not that I’d been a huge outdoorsy person before, but our apartment had a lot of windows. There was daylight everywhere. I would not have liked being trapped inside like an animal.

That would have been little different than how the torturers kept me.

Although, I would assume there wouldn’t be torture. One can only guess at this point.

But I was allowed outside. And for the first time in my life, I was taking advantage of that. After the recess scene as a kid, and watching games from time to time while in high school, that had been the extent of my outdoor exploration. Otherwise, I was inside doing something quieter. More solitary.

Part of me wondered if I spent so much time inside after high school because I was trying to help Colby support us. One alpha to provide for two people, an omega to boot, wasn’t easy. That’s not the reason we looked for or wanted a pack, but we were both looking forward to the burden he carried alone to be lessened.

It was the reason we had a roommate to shoulder some of that burden. It wasn’t fair to him. And because life was the way it was, I wasn’t exactly able to dive into the workforce and help out. Yes, I was a bonded omega, which should have meant the world was safe. But I was also an omega looking for a pack. There were expectations that I needed to meet as an omega. They were kind of stupid and barbaric but there you are. The world we lived in.

But because of the hell we found ourselves in, it felt like all those expectations had been lifted. The only thing that was expected of us was that we remain hidden. We live as if we’re different people, those who we once were no longer existed.

I was still an omega. That’s not something that I could change. But money was no longer tight. The stress of looking for a pack had been eliminated. Given everything I’d gone through, besides the occasional nightmare and the frequent need to see and feel Colby to know he’s okay, I felt light. So much lighter than I ever remember feeling.

And to see Colby forming friendships with others, with alphas and betas, it was so warming. So settling.

Not for the first time, I found myself in a patch of the garden closest to the house. I never went alone. But I found if I asked someone to go with me, I had no shortage of volunteers. Although, even when Emerald or Kasen volunteered, an alpha tagged along, too.

Today it was just me and Ronan and I knelt in the small patch of ground and weeded. I wasn’t confident I was only pulling up weeds. I’d never had a garden. Never planted flowers or vegetables. Never tended or harvested fruits. So really, I might be doing more harm than good.

But I was appreciating the sun on my back and my hands in the dirt. Although, I didn’t like the dirt under my nails. It was a fine line about getting my hands dirty and getting dirt where it wasn’t easily washed away. Scrubbing nails can be frustrating.

I glanced up at Ronan. Just looking at his huge, looming form had my stomach flipping. He was so gorgeous. All dark and broad. His face filled with hard lines, dark watchful eyes. Short hair that made my fingers twitch to feel whether it was soft or course.

He looked down at me and I swear, I felt something pass between us. A charge. Some sharp, electric zing that spanned the air, connecting us.

Ronan smiled. Just a small lift of his lips as he uncrossed his arms and knelt next to me. He brushed the hair that fell from my elastic out of my face, hooking it behind my ear. “You okay? Need a drink? Hungry? Cold?”

Grinning, I shook my head. “I’m good. Enjoying the dirt.”

“Mm,” he answered, his big fingers remaining in my hair for a minute. The warmth of him bleeding into my skull.

We stared at each other, sharing the quiet moment that was nothing at all and still special. Something that we shared. Not really intimate but it was nice. Just between us.

His hand fell to my shoulder before dropping further to my back. “You sure you don’t need anything?”

I smiled again, turning back to the garden. “Nothing. Although, we might need to replant everything I’m pulling up. I have no idea if this is a weed or what’s supposed to be growing.” I held up a green stem that looked like it didn’t belong there.

Ronan chuckled. “That’s a weed. You’re doing fine. Though you don’t have to do this at all.”

“It’s nice being outside,” I said, tossing the weed onto the grass and sitting back on my heels. “I’ve never spent much time outside. I didn’t realize I appreciated the sun on my face.” I tipped my head back to feel it better. The rays of the sun stroking my skin. Heating it more.

His fingers brushed my hair again and I glanced at him. He watched me, his look intense but maybe also a little shy? Quiet?

“Ronan?”

He glanced back over his shoulder before standing, his hand leaving my hair. I heard the footsteps brush through the grass, getting closer to us, but I went back to weeding. Guessing what didn’t belong. Why did weeds grow so quickly? Why were weeds even a thing?

“Why did you put her to work?” Ainsley asked.

Ronan snorted as I peeked up at him over my shoulder. He grinned widely. My heart stuttered in my chest. Biting my lip, I glanced at the tray he’d brought out. There were glasses of ice and a pitcher of what I thought must be peach or strawberry lemonade. Something that made it pink, but I could see the slices of lemon floating in it, too.

I got to my feet, brushing my hands on my pants. When I was standing, I could see a whole charcuterie board of treats on the tray with the drinks.

“Want a snack?” Ainsley asked.

Holding up my hands, I smiled. “Sure, but I’m dirty.”

“Then we’ll feed you,” he said, his smile widening. “Ronan, spread the blanket.”

Ronan narrowed his eyes at Ainsley, but he pulled the blanket I hadn’t noticed was hanging from Ainsley’s arm onto the grass just beyond the small patch of garden I’d been tending. I watched as Ainsley stepped out of his shoes and onto the blanket, kneeling to set the tray down. Then he turned, gesturing to me to come closer.

His hands on my leg encouraged me to step up. Resting a hand on his shoulder, I lifted my foot so he could slide my shoe off. I stepped onto the blanket, and he repeated it with my other foot.

I hadn’t been hungry. That wasn’t a lie. But seeing all the treats on the tray made my stomach think it was hungry. I settled and Ronan joined us. Ainsley poured the drinks and handed me a glass. I sipped the sweet and slightly bitter lemonade, trying to decide what the other flavor was and coming up short.

Not that it really mattered. It was good and quenching all the same. When I set it down, resting it against my leg, Ainsley moved closer and picked up a piece of cheese. With sexy eyes and a sensual smile on his kissable lips, he watched my face as he brought the little cube of cheese to my mouth.

Licking my lips, I opened for him, letting him place it on my tongue. His finger brushed my bottom lip as he pulled away and I closed my mouth to chew.

“Is there anything you don’t like?” he asked, his voice low. The tone doing things to my core. “Allergies?”

I shook my head, chewing and swallowing. His gaze dropped to my throat when I did and I felt my cheeks heat.

And then Ronan was on my other side, sitting even closer. His leg pressed against my back where it bent. His other ran along my thigh. He picked up a cracker with some spread on it and brought it to my mouth, the hand behind me resting in my hair as if he meant to keep my head still.

Again, my eyes locked with his as he brought it to my mouth. I took a bite, my lips grazing his fingers, and he pulled the rest of the cracker away. I watched as he brought it to his own mouth, popping it in, and licking his fingers.

Eating could be a sensual affair. I hadn’t known. But the way my heart raced was reminiscent of how I felt when Colby and I began foreplay.

“So,” Ainsley said, picking up an olive and eating it before he looked at me. “You feeling okay here, Talya? Comfortable? Do you need anything?”

I wasn’t sure if he meant right now or in general. In this house. My life? What did he refer to? I shrugged, nodding. “I’m good,” I said. “All things considered, I really like it here.”

Picking up another live, Ainsley brought it to my mouth. I let him feed it to me as I continued to look at him. “There’s nothing you need? For your nest?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I really like it here.”

“Colby?”

“I always need Colby but if you’re asking if he needs anything, I don’t think he does.”

Ronan was ready for my next bite, a thin slice of salami and a bit of thin, hard bread cracker. Once again, he shared the bite that was too big for me. I watched him chew as I did and then licked my lips when he swallowed.

“How do you feel about our pack?” Ainsley asked, drawing my attention back to him.

“I love your pack,” I said. “You’re all amazing and make us feel so welcome. Like we were always here.”

He smiled. “Good. That’s exactly what we want.”

And then he fed me a strawberry but not before sliding it along my lip. He leaned his, his fingers joining Ronan’s in my hair. His lips at my ear as I took a bite. I could feel his hot breath. It made need surge within me, and my perfume spiked, sweet and filled with want.

Ronan growled as Ainsley groaned. I flushed, wiggling between them uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” Ainsley said breathlessly. I could hear his arousal now. A breath before I could smell it. His vanilla turned into cookies with a woodsmoke core. Ronan’s citrus turned into a sweet dessert tart. I swallowed. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I shook my head. “No. I’m… not.” Breathless. I was that. And definitely turned on. From food. Being fed by alphas.

“Good,” he murmured. “How do you feel about being courted, Talya?”

A whimper escaped me, and I startled. Both alphas purred, the gentle sound relaxing me. “Courted?” I whispered, looking at him with wide eyes filled with awe. “Me?”

His smile was sweet as he leaned in and pressed his lips against my cheek. So softly. “Yes. You. Not that I intend to speak for anyone else, but I think you’d have a few interested in courting you, Talya. If you’re open for it.”

I’d been looking for a pack for years. Years! I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to blink through the way my eyes felt a little watery. “A few?”

“Ronan?” Ainsley asked.

Shifted, I looked at him. He didn’t need to say the words out loud. It was written all over his face. “I thought I was being obvious,” he said sheepishly. “Yes, definitely.” He touched my cheek, so lightly it was like a feather brushing my skin. “If you’re interested.”

I nodded. Blinked away another surge of tears and turned to Ainsley and nodded. “But I should ask Colby first. Are you going to court him, too?” Then I laughed. “Wait, do alphas court other alphas?”

Ainsley smiled. “Ask Colby. And yes, alphas court whoever they want to court. Including other alphas. However, while I’m happy to share a pack with Colby and would love him to join our pack, I’m not strictly interested in him the same way I am you.”

“Because I’m an omega?” I asked, brows knitted together.

He was still so close that I could feel his breath. Close enough that he brushed his nose against my cheek. Not quite scent marking me. It was a prelude though. The need in me burned and I whined again.

“There is more than one way to be a pack,” Ainsley said, his voice low now. I could hear the growl in it. Responding to my whine. “The six of us in this house, we’re a pack. But we’re not all bonded together. Not in the same way. That doesn’t mean we’re not a pack. I love Ronan as much as Emerald, but we share a very different relationship.”

“Very,” Ronan agreed, a note of humor in his tone.

I nodded. “Okay, I understand that. I just… we’ve looked for a pack. One that would have us both.”

“Now you found one. If you’re interested in courting. If you’re not, that’s okay, too. We’ll still be very happy to have you here. We won’t treat you any differently.”

Biting my lip, I nodded. “Yes. But I have to talk to Colby first.”

“Then do,” he said, smiling. “But eat first. We have a lot to feed you, omega.”

And they did. It was a sensual affair that left me dripping wet.