Friends with the Library

Rainer

Tifany peers into the third-story window, her head sideways so her one big eye can get a clear view. I smile and wave. A quiet hum vibrates through the window.

“Go get something to eat,” I tell her. “We’ll be right here. Promise.”

Her hum changes pitch, then she disappears from the window. It’s been a long winter, and I know the largest members of our family struggle to find food in the old ruins of Nyc City. Nature may be taking over all the concrete and steel, but it’s slim pickings for both the herbivores and carnivores.

Meatball disappears into the night to feed—we’ve caught him wandering away—but the other four don’t venture far when we’re asleep.

Not that my husbands sleep much. I’m the one who sleeps through the night. If any of them sleep, it’s only for a few hours. Then there’s Kaida. I’m not sure if she sleeps at all.

My fingers dig into her fur-feathers in the all-too-familiar way they have since she joined me years ago. She shifts her body so she’s pressed against my thigh.

Drystan’s laughter makes me look up. My smile still feels incredibly unfamiliar on my face. For so very long, I’d never smiled because there was nothing to smile about. Now, it feels almost unnatural to do so.

The lights flicker, and I grin, knowing they’re going to get scolded for being so loud.

Sure enough, I hear Zakee’s disembodied voice. “Keary!”

“Why is it always me?” Keary demands from somewhere in the aisles. Drystan and Notto snicker.

I look down at the book in my lap, its pages showing human reproduction diagrams. I’ve read this particular book more than a dozen times—not because I’m learning something new every time, but because I’m hoping to find something helpful.

We’ve been in Nyc City, at the enormous library here, through the winter. There’s still snow on the ground, and the chilly wind coming off the ocean whips between the remains of skyscrapers.

We’ve stayed here for a few reasons. One, to see if we can find my young cousins. They’re all grown up now, so I’m not sure I’d recognize them at all.

Two, we’re also here because it’s warm and safe. There’s an endless supply of basic necessities within the library.

And three, we’re doing research. Okay, mostly I’m doing research, though it’s proving to be a waste of time. Keary’s particular species of god-divine-monster has a really hard time procreating, so we agreed that we’d figure out what would make a hospitable womb for his genetics.

We started out with all of us looking through anatomy and reproductive books, but they got bored with it pretty quickly. However, what I think actually happened was that they came to the conclusion months ago that I have only recently: these human reproduction books aren’t useful for what we’re looking for.

Because there aren’t any books on monsters here—not non-fictional ones anyway. The world had known about monsters for a few years before humans were destroyed, but they were in a stubborn state of denial. Needless to say, no knowledge was shared.

Kaida shifts her head, and though she keeps it on the floor, she’s now shifted so she can look into the dark corner. I smile. “Hey, Zakee.”

I’ve never seen Zakee’s actual form. He’s mostly just shadows and darkness. Drystan says he’s one of the first teko, so while he’s considered relatively young among monsters, he’s old as far as teko go.

“Why do you keep reading that same book?” he asks. “You don’t have a human female amongst your family.”

“The teko can create their own reproductive organs,” I say. “Right?”

“Most,” he agrees.

“We’re trying to figure out the most optimal environment for Keary to reproduce.”

“God of Ra,” Zakee says. He’s still primarily shadow, so I can’t see any facial features, but I hear the frown in his voice.

“Yep. Suggestions on books to read?”

“Not here. Why don’t you go back to the monster world? If there are answers, they’d be there. Though I think I should point out that if there are answers, the Ra would be able to breed readily.”

“How do we get back to the monster world?” I didn’t know that was an option.

“Most of the doorways are shut down, but I think Base 6 still has a working one. They straddle the only way in and out to keep an eye on the remaining Silence activity,” Zakee says.

“But there are libraries there?”

“No idea. I imagine there is. I feel like the answer could have been nearly in your hands if all the Silence facilities weren’t destroyed. They figured out how to change the teko’s biology. Even though they thought they erased it, they actually perfected it. Now, it is whatever it needs to be. You’re probably overthinking this. Drystan can host the womb Keary needs innately.”

“Huh.” I close the book and set it aside. “I guess that makes a lot of sense. Did they figure this out and are letting me chase nothing?”

“No. I think they figured out that the answers they’re looking for won’t be found here, though,” Zakee says.

I sigh and let my head fall back against the wall. Silence settles around us except for the occasional laughter from my husbands. Husbands. All mine.

Opening my eyes, I look at the dark shadow that is Zakee. “Why do you stay here?”

“It’s usually peaceful,” he mutters.

I grin. Just as he says this, invisible bells announce that someone just opened the front door. During the winter months, there are far more visitors to the libraries than when it’s nice weather. Everyone’s looking to survive, and sometimes they need a little help.

Zakee sighs. He begins to disappear into the walls or shadows, or maybe he evaporates into thin air.

“Wait,” I say and get to my feet. Kaida is on hers now too. “I know you don’t greet them, so what are you doing?”

Zakee’s figure hovers somewhere between shadow and not here. I can almost see where his person ends as if he’s caught mid-vanishing because I asked him to wait.

“There are groups I don’t allow in the library because they misuse it,” he answers.

“Think you can move around as a person for a while so I can come with you?”

“Are we friends now?” he asks.

Is he amused? Laughing at me? Or maybe scowling.

“Well, I can go hang out with my husbands if you prefer.”

Now I know he’s scowling. I try my best not to grin. We both know that it gets loud and sexy as soon as I join them for the evening. I’m not sure which of us is insatiable, but once the pod who killed my parents was taken care of, our focus turned inward. It feels as though we’re making up for lost time.

His shadowy form steps back from the wall, and I’m utterly shocked when he becomes solid. Whole. With distinguishing figures.

He stares at me, holding my gaze. Almost challenging me. He’s covered in scars. He is one big scar. I’m pretty sure one of his eyes is blind, too.

I offer him a smile and head for the door. “This way?”

Silently, Zakee falls into step beside me. His footfalls, like Kaida’s, are silent. No noise at all. Only mine, the clumsy human, can’t defy gravity and sound. I’m as quiet as I manage while we wind our way toward the main floor and those who just stepped inside.

“You know where they are?” I ask, my eyes sticking to the hand that he drags along the railing while we walk.

He nods in answer.

“You can feel them? By the shadows?”

Zakee raises one shoulder.

I have a feeling he’s not going to answer me now that I’ve seen him as he is. I wish I had the words to set his mind at ease.

“We’re friends now,” I say, answering his last question.

Zakee glances at me, his lips pressing tightly together for a second. “Are we?”

“Do you have a problem with that?”

His lips twitch as he fights a smile. He suddenly grips my arm and pulls me through a door that I swear to fuck wasn’t there before. We’re moving quickly through the darkness now. Air whips against my cheeks.

“I can’t see anything,” I hiss.

“I see clearly,” Zakee says. “I’ll only laugh a little if you fall on your face.”

“When we get into the light again, I’m going to slap you.”

He laughs. It’s the first time I’ve heard his laughter, and I can’t stop my smile from splitting my face… right before the toe of my boot hits something and I nearly crash to the ground.

Zakee keeps me upright, and then we’re stopped. He pulls me back into the daylight, though it’s shrouded in shadows. There’s a railing overlooking the open area of the first floor. This is where most of the refuge-seekers looking to get a break from the storm gather.

It’s been a decent week, so several have moved out. There’s less than a handful left. One couple and a trio.

And a single lone figure standing in the middle of the area. This must be the newcomer.

“Do you know them?” I ask.

Zakee shakes his head.

“Monster or human?”

When he doesn’t answer, I turn my attention to him. His eyes are transfixed. He’s staring as if he can’t look away.

Ohhh. Zakee has found someone to take an interest in?

“Monster or human?” I repeat.

He swallows, shaking his head. “Both.”

I tilt my head to the side and look back at the figure. “How can they be both?”

“Conceived between a monster and a human—not in the way teko are.”

“You mean, consensually."

He nods.

“I didn’t realize you can tell when they have parents like that.” I study the figure who hasn’t moved more than to turn in a circle, examining their surroundings. They’re covered in thick cold-weather clothing, a beanie, and something over their face, leaving only their eyes bared.

“Sometimes you can’t, but most of the time you can.”

The figure looks up, and their eyes lock on us. My breath catches. I feel like I was just caught in a trap. My eyes flicker to Zakee then do a double take. He’s gone. Vanished. Not even a hint of his shadow remains.

“Fucker,” I mutter, turning around to look for him.

“Coward,” he whispers from somewhere unseen. “That’s the word you’re looking for.” When I turn back around, the figure is gone.

Sighing, I turn to the darkness. “I’m going to find my husbands.”

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